In my journey, both personal and professional, I've come to understand that true leadership is often forged in the fires of adversity. When you're in survival mode, it's easy to lose sight of your values and the bigger picture. However, maintaining integrity and filling your own cup first are essential steps in becoming a leader who can genuinely support and guide others. In this blog, I'll share the key lessons I've learned from my own experiences, focusing on the importance of self-integrity, the impact of survival mode on leadership, and the necessity of self-care for effective leadership.
The Empty Cup: A Personal Leadership Metaphor
"Until your cup is full, you will be looking to scour the earth to pour more water in yours in order for it to get full." This metaphor has been a guiding principle in my life. During my university days, I lived in a caravan, surviving on two-minute noodles and juggling multiple jobs and a double major. I was in survival mode, constantly focused on how to meet my basic needs. Every decision was driven by the need to put food on the table, and it was clear that I couldn't lead or contribute fully to others until I had taken care of myself first.
This experience taught me that when you're operating from a place of lack, your ability to lead is compromised. You become so focused on your own survival that it’s difficult to think about the well-being of others, let alone guide them effectively. As a leader, it's crucial to ensure that your own cup is full so that you can approach leadership from a place of abundance rather than desperation.
Survival Mode: The Double-Edged Sword of Leadership
Survival mode is a natural response to challenging circumstances, but it can be a double-edged sword when it comes to leadership. On one hand, it can sharpen your focus and drive, pushing you to achieve remarkable things despite the odds. On the other hand, it can narrow your perspective, reducing your capacity for empathy, creativity, and ethical decision-making.
I’ve asked myself this question many times: "Do you think in that modality, I would be in the most giving part of me?" The answer is no. When I was consumed by my own need to survive, I was less able to be generous, compassionate, or ethical in my leadership. My decisions were driven by necessity rather than vision, and this is not the foundation of effective leadership.
Holding Integrity Through the Struggle
One of the most important lessons I've learned is the importance of maintaining integrity, even when you're in survival mode. It's easy to compromise your values when you're just trying to get by, but I've found that holding onto my integrity is crucial, no matter how tough things get.
I've always tried to "hold that part of my journey with integrity no matter where I'm at." This means being honest with myself and others about my situation and refusing to resort to unethical behavior, even when the pressure is intense. I've seen firsthand how losing integrity in the pursuit of survival can lead to decisions that are not only counterproductive but also damaging to relationships and trust. Leadership requires a steadfast commitment to ethical behavior, even in the most challenging circumstances.
Steadfastness and integrity in difficult times
Self-Compassion: A Leadership Essential
Self-compassion has been a critical aspect of my leadership journey. I used to be hard on myself, constantly judging my struggles and feeling frustrated when I couldn’t meet my own expectations. But I've learned that leadership isn’t about being perfect; it's about navigating imperfections with grace and understanding.
I’ve realized that it’s essential to "stop trying to judge yourself" for the struggles you face. Leadership is a journey, and growth takes time. By practicing self-compassion, I've been able to maintain my integrity and continue leading effectively, even in the face of adversity. This approach has not only helped me personally but has also made me a more empathetic and understanding leader.
Filling Your Cup: A Prerequisite for Effective Leadership
"Until your cup is full, you can't feel someone else's cup." This lesson has been vital in my development as a leader. Leadership often involves giving and supporting others, but I've learned that you can’t lead effectively if you’re running on empty.
Filling my cup has meant prioritizing self-care, seeking support when needed, and addressing my own challenges head-on. When my cup is full, I'm in a much better position to be the compassionate, ethical, and visionary leader that others need. It's not just about surviving; it’s about thriving so that I can lead from a place of abundance rather than scarcity.
Conclusion: Embracing the Leadership Journey
The lessons I’ve shared are a testament to the idea that leadership is not just about guiding others but also about managing yourself. The challenges of survival can test your integrity, but by maintaining self-compassion and ensuring your own cup is full, you can navigate these challenges with resilience and purpose.
Leadership is a continuous journey, one that requires growth, self-awareness, and a commitment to integrity. By embracing this journey and understanding the importance of self-care and self-compassion, you can rise above survival mode and lead others with authenticity and strength. Remember, leadership starts from within, and only when your own cup is full can you truly fill the cups of others.
I hope these insights from my own experiences resonate with you and inspire you to lead with integrity and compassion, no matter where you are on your journey.
Your thoughts?
Survival is part of the journey to get the next step to success.
Survival is what make us great hunters.
The leadership journey asks for radical responsability in filling your cup! Resilience cannot be build on moving sands. It requires solid structures and routines to keep your body, mind and emotional health at the highest levels.
Sel-compassion is not a weakness but a key ingredient for growth.
What a post, another one of those that feels directly from my Creator to me via Wilson.
I have nothing to contribute or I am not genuinely able to contribute from abundance in an empty cup.
From last Saturday I have not been able to fully function or contribute including here. Lower mind kept telling me no just keep going, what others are going to think if I suddenly stop contributing and engaging in this valuable conversations.
Higher mind said, no step into faith, step into courage, implement self-care and compassion without judgment( a hard one for me) lower mind wanted me to go into shame, guilt.
Higher mind allowed me to keep my torch focused on what decision it’…
"Know where you're at & hold that with integrity & work with that & let go of the judgement" For me this puts it all in perspective.
Poor, rushed decision making & lack of direction happens when in scarcity.
Doing my pillars helps to minimise this. The irony is sometimes self care is "forgotten" when we need to do it the most to keep us on track.
So many lessons here. ‘When you're operating from a place of lack, your ability to lead is compromised’. Yes!
It is impossible to be of service if you are in survival mode, because you cannot give from an empty cup.
Therefore, it is crucial that we know where we’re at and align tasks based on the capabilities of our nervous system. This really allows you to be in integrity with yourself. Acknowledge where your at and give yourself compassion if your in scarcity frequencies. I can see how doing this is actually pouring back into yourself in those moments.